The Troubled Soul of the Wanderer

San Martin de los Andes, Argentina
Where do I go from there?

(scoll down for the english version – vean al pie de página para la versión en español)

Pour la première fois depuis 4 ans à voyager et bientôt 3 à écrire ce blog, je me prends à douter.

À douter du fondement même d’écrire et de prendre des photos pour partager la joie d’un voyage (que je faisais seule au début et mourrais d’envie de partager davantage avec ceux restés à la maison) que finalement peu lisent et regardent.  Je me rends compte depuis quelques temps déjà que ceux pour qui j’écris et avec qui je veux partager ce voyage ne prennent pas forcément le temps de lire et/ou n’y trouvent finalement pas plus leur compte qu’avec les quelques cartes postales que je leur envoie régulièrement.

Du coup, pourquoi écrire?  Pourquoi prendre/perdre du temps à améliorer ce blog si ça n’intéresse personne?  J’en suis même arrivée à ressentir un ennui profond vis-à-vis de mes photos, de ne plus apprécier de les prendre, de ne plus y prendre goût.  À force de chercher comment montrer le meilleur de chaque endroit en image, j’en suis arrivée à ne plus profiter du lieu pour seulement me focaliser sur la prise de photos et à ne même pas être satisfaite du résultat.

C’est comme cette histoire de souvenirs…  Je lisais récemment l’article de Jessica sur Notes of Nomads à propos du bien-fondé d’acheter des souvenirs pour soi lorsqu’on voyage, ainsi que pour nos amis et familles à qui l’on souhaite ramener un peu de ce voyage pour le partager davantage avec eux.  Finalement, pourquoi faire si personne n’en profite plus que les 5 minutes où les souvenirs sont échangés?  Pourquoi faire si on n’a pas de place pour les exposer ou s’en servir?  Pourquoi faire si on doit les envoyer depuis l’étranger et que les services postaux ne sont pas assez fiables?

Aujourd’hui, j’en suis là…  « Pourquoi faire? » 

Peut-être que j’ai besoin d’une pause.

Avez-vous déjà ressenti ça en voyage?  Comment avez-vous vaincu ce sentiment?

[English]

For the first time in 4 years of travelling and almost 3 of writing this blog, I find myself doubting.

I doubt about the true reason of writing and taking pictures to share the joys of a trip (that I used to do on my own and was dying to share with my loved ones at home) if, in the end, only a few actually read the thing.  I have realized a while ago already that those for whom I write and with whom I want to share these travel stories don’t necessarily take time to read and/or don’t find on the blog what they’re expecting from me or more than what I already give them sending them postcards from everywhere.

If that is so, why do I write?  Why should I take/waste time writing and improving this blog if nobody is interested?  I’ve even come to feeling immensely bored with my pictures; I don’t enjoy taking them anymore.  Because I’m always trying to show the best of the places we visit and I’m greatly focused on that goal, I feel like I’m not enjoying the place as I should and I end up disappointed with the result of the shooting anyway.

It’s just like this souvenir thing…  I was recently reading Jessica’s article from Notes of Nomads on the relevance of buying souvenirs of every place we travel to in order to share a bit of it with our friends and family.  In the end, if no one enjoys it more than the 5 minutes of the exchange, what is the use?  What is the use of buying if we won’t enjoy it back home since there’s not enough room to exhibit it all?  What is the use of buying if we need to send them all and we can’t rely on the postal services everywhere?

Nowadays, that’s how I feel…  « What’s the use? »

I may need a break…

Have you ever felt that way while travelling?  How did you get over the feeling?

[Español]

Por primera vez en 4 años de viaje y casi 3 escribiendo éste blog, siento mil dudas…

Dudo de las razones por las cuales escribo y tomo fotos para compartir las alegrías del viaje (que hacía sola al inicio y que me moría de compartir con los que se quedaron en casa) que finalmente son muy pocos a leer o echar un vistazo.  Hace un tiempo ya que me doy cuenta que los para quienes escribo y con quienes quiero compartir este viaje no siempre toman el tiempo de leer y/o no encuentran lo que esperan de mi además de las postales que les mando de varios lugares.

Si es así, ¿porqué escribir?  Porqué tomar/perder tiempo de escribir y mejorar el blog si no le interesa a nadie?  Hasta llegue a sentir un aburrimiento profundo al sacar fotos, no disfruto tanto sacarlas.  Porque estoy buscando cada vez en mostrar lo bonito de los lugares en donde viajamos, me encuentro más enfocada en sacar la mejor foto que en disfrutar del lugar en sí y ni siquiera estoy satisfecha con los resultados.

Es como ése tema de comprar recuerdos…  Leía hace poco el artículo de Jessica de Notes of Nomads sobre la pertinencia de comprar recuerdos para sí-mismo cuando viajamos, así como para los que se quedaron en casa y con quienes queremos compartir un poco del viaje.  Finalmente, ¿Porqué, si no los van a disfrutar más de los 5 minutos del intercambio?  Porqué si no vamos a tener espacio para exponerles en la casa?  Porqué si los debemos mandar desde el extranjero y no se puede confiar en los servicios postales en cualquier lugar?

Hoy, si, eso pienso…  « ¿Porqué? »

Tal vez, necesito una pausa…

¿Se han sentido así alguna vez?  Cómo vencieron este sentimiento?

36 commentaires sur “The Troubled Soul of the Wanderer

  1. First thought, change what you say just above here: Your comments will make the difference. I think you are interested in what other people think; their comments will stimulate you, perhaps even inspire you, maybe annoy you (like this might). But making THE difference? Not a satisfying goal.
    Second thought, the only people (in my experience et a mon avis) who really follow blogs and respond to them are — other bloggers. They understand the ongoing struggle, the ennuis, the longeurs, the ups and downs. Folks back home aren’t usually involved in that way. They are content, as you say, with the occasional postcard, knowing you’re okay, that you think of them.But not necessarily interested in what is, as you say, truly a multi-media, interactive diary.
    Third thought, some places and times (again in my experience) are more stimulating and inspiring to my photography. I can fight it or I can go with it. But I don’t think creativity and inspiration are a steady state. Keeping up your blog (in three languages, ma chérie!) for three years is already a major commitment.
    Final thought, as so many have said, in the final analysis you are writing your blog for yourself, maybe to find out what we think, what you have to say. That’s the determinant of continuing or not. Your voyages are precious, loved, all that good stuff — but they’re also your own discoveries about yourself, for yourself, your place in the world. Sometimes that’s more exciting/inspiring/valuable/important than other times. You can choose to go with that flow also —
    I’ve certainly felt like you, and I’ll slack off and then I’ll return — But there are plenty of good and interesting bloggers who ultimately drop out and continue living their lives using other parameters and outlets.
    Julie, just remember: nothing is written in stone. Minds, like beds, can be made and unmade and made again. Whatever your decision, it’s right, and it’s yours, and it’s ongoing.

    1. your words and your comment, as well as every other I got after writing that little blues post, are the best thing I could read. And you put it in such a perspective that I can only agree with everything you say.

      I’ll first change my own perspective of things and re-discover, re-define why I write and take pictures. I enjoy traveling so much and have stopped hand-writing a diary because I found it so much more interactive and easier to write the blog; I have discovered many very very interesting people and their own ways of traveling through different medias.

      I feel so much better now; for having written the blues when I felt it, for all the answers and support I’ve received in exchange and for all the knowledge fellow bloggers and beautiful people like you shared with me.

      Thank you!

  2. Julie, I completely understand how you feel. That doesn’t change anything. That doesn’t make it better. But if it helps seeing your updates serves as an inspiration to me. This world is a beautiful place and you have made it priority to explore every corner of it. I forget, in my day to day life that what you’re doing is even possible. Thank you. Separate from that it is YOUR journey. Don’t take this beautiful thing you have chosen to do and make it chore. I would suggest keep writing, keep taking pictures because YOU don’t want to forget about that moments and experiences that shape you. The rest of us, who cares. 🙂 I look forward to watching you retell your stories when we meet again face to face. I look forward to clicking through your pictures as we share laughs and tears over coffee. Don’t lose your spirit, your stories, your pictures, you..matter.

    1. and I think every day that YOU are the inspiration for me. those words are another proof of it and that’s why I also miss hearing from you more often. you have always have a way with words…

      those travels are just so fulfilling for me that I can’t, right now, imagine any other way of spending my days; specially now that Rulo is with me to share the adventures!

      I’ll do just that, enjoy it all day to day and keep it up in the blog because I don’t write a diary anymore, THIS is my diary.

      But I’ll be looking forward for our days back together again.

      Thank you, for being there.
      xoxoxoxox

  3. Oh, Jul’! I’m really sorry. I feel like I’ve caused you such stress with that post! 😦 Having your own personal motivation is so important and I know it doesn’t feel good when it seems like you’ve started to lose touch with why you started it all in the first place. Sometimes we all need to take a step back and re-evaluate things, to make decisions that put our motivations and creativity back at the heart of it all, rather than pushed aside in a sea of obligations. When we do things just for ourselves, rather than to please others, I find that’s when the joy returns. Take a breather and do what inspires you. But also know that all of us here enjoy your stories and photos. It hasn’t been and it isn’t for nothing. xox

    1. Jessica, you don’t have to feel sorry about anything. I was going through the process before I read your article; it just helped see things a little differently and helped making decisions.

      we do need to take a step back to make sure we’re enjoying what we’re doing, and I truly enjoy travelling and sharing everything I do on the road. because it’s so fulfilling to do so! but it’s even more fulfilling when you realize that the persons you love and miss while you’re travelling actually also enjoy following you vicarously, because although far away, you want to share all this with them too.

      and that’s what I’ve been missing lately. the bond with the people I love back home. I think that’s what’s been the hardest. Don’t know why, I’ve never been homesick before and don’t think that’s what it is… or is it?

      anyway, thanks for all your kind words, always. next articles might take longer in coming (except for those that are already ready).
      and I really need to work on a new eye with my camera because I really don’t like my pictures! ha! 😉 that’s something I need to learn.

      Enjoy the road yourself! Cheers to what makes us happy! xoxoxo

  4. My thoughts simply echo others: do it for your own learning, your own processing, your own enlightenment. I never buy souvenirs. I don’t enjoy shopping at all (except for buying my last pair of hiking boots). I write to understand myself; I share on my blog to invite others into that process, but it’s not their presence that motivates me. It’s my own.

    1. I’m with you! I don’t enjoy shopping either (only if it’s to find a gift for someone else, that’s why it also bothered me to stop shopping for anyone, but hey, travelling is NOT about shopping!). Writing has been a good excercise and I’d like to keep improving, following everyone’s example. I’m happy to have found each and everyone of you as supporting characters in this little movie of mine.

      Cheers to more personal writing!

  5. Hey 🙂 Just found your blog and I really like it 🙂 I like that you write also in spanish because I’m trying to learn it and the pictures are gorgeous 🙂 I hope you won’t give up on it. Take a break if you feel the need and think about what you really want from this blog. There was a moment when I asked myself if I should stop blogging but each time I receive emails and comments from people telling me that something that I wrote inspired or helped them, motivates me to keep going 🙂
    So take as much time as you need and think about what you want.

    I wish you all the best ! 🙂

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Niki! Specially if you do so on such a day for me and you even took the time to write me and put a new smile on my face. I’m like you, a little dumbfounded by the comments I get in response to that « blues » post. Some upcoming posts are ready to be posted and read, others are still in a proofread stage and might stay that way a little longer while I find myself again, directly on the road and living fully the motto I’ve come to choose for my life : CARPE DIEM!

      I’ll think about the blog again a little later…

      Glad to know you enjoy the different languages possibilities. Stay tuned! I’ll be back in my usual the-world-is-beautiful mood very very soon! 😉
      Cheers to you and happy trails!
      Jul’

  6. Oui, mais nous, nous t’aimons ! et nous aimons te lire, même si nous ne faisons pas signe aussi souvent qu’il le faudrait pour te rassurer. Comme toi, j’éprouve périodiquement les mêmes doutes en publiant mes dessins chaque jour, mais je sais que je demande moins d’effort à mes lecteurs, car un seul coup d’oeil suffit. Si le moment est venu pour toi d’aborder une réflexion sur la manière dont tu vas continuer à écrire sur ton blog, considère que c’est plutôt là un signe de maturité qui t’amène à te questionner en profondeur sur le sens que tu donnes à ton oeuvre d’écriture. J’approuve complètement ce que t’écrit ton ami David, ne t’arrête pas d’ écrire !
    Je t’embrasse

    1. Ma Béné, je t’adore! « mon oeuvre d’écriture »! je continue de ne pas le voir comme de l’art et toi tu vois de l’art partout! 😀 Merci pour tes mots, tout comme ceux des autres, ils me vont droit au coeur et me font du bien. je réfléchis et verrai bien où tout cela me mènera, si je m’y retrouve ou pas.
      Merci en tous cas. Toujours. Vous me manquez beaucoup. Gros bisous.

  7. I love seeing your photos and reading what you have to say about them and the places you’ve been. Places I will never have the chance to see. But as many have said before, take only as many photos as pleases you to do so, write only when you really want to. The most important thing is for you to have fun, make discoveries, spend time with Rulo really getting to know each other and see what you really want to see. I love you and everything you do.

    1. Thank you so much Susan. I think I also needed to write about it to take it off my chest. And reading you all allows me to breathe in better and take it all easier. I enjoy so much travelling, it wouldn’t have detered me from it, but sometimes it’s not so easy to write about it all.
      Love you too. Thanks for being there, always.

  8. Hello ma Julie…je ne pensais pas que tu en étais à se point de douter de tes photos et de tes articles !!! Tu aimes cette vie de voyages, même avec des pauses……Continues de faire des photos et d’écrire..POUR TOI …et….pour MOI, car c’est notre lien de partage de ta vie si loin de moi. Je t’aime fort.
    Ta Mom

    1. Comme je te disais, je n’ai pas souvent le blues, mais ces temps-ci, oui, ça a pris une autre dimension; surtout sur les photos…
      Quant à continuer à écrire et à prendre les photos, je pense le faire de toutes façons, parce que j’y ai pris goût et que (comme les souvenirs) je sais que toi, tu es de l’autre côté. Je t’aime fort. ❤

  9. I love your posts, Julie, as well as your photos. I never tire of travelling, but as the years roll by, I realise that I won’t get to travel much more, especially long distances. That’s one reason I appreciate you taking me to places I haven’t, and probably won’t, see for myself. Having said that, I know exactly where you are coming from with this post. I can never understand how/why so many people seem to be chained to their keyboards. In summary, I hope you will continue writing and while you do, I will follow you. If you don’t, I will understand. Grace and peace. KenP

    1. Thank you Ken. I’ve never so much as felt homesick ever, so those new feelings about writing, taking pictures, buying presents OR NOT seem complicated to deal with when, after reading everybody’s advice, it is not so. I’m glad I was able to write about it so I could read you all.

      Thanks for pitching in. I’ll do my best to keep it up. For Me, For You, For Fun and For the Love of Traveling.
      Cheers!

  10. Well, I enjoy your posts and truly consider blogging a self satisfying form of expression. I do it first for me, to chronicle my life ( even though my kids never bother to read it) I feel creative and enjoy seeing my life and the lives of others. I have made some wonderful connections here and thats enough for me. I take a break when I was sad or too busy, maybe you just need a break indeed? I hope you sort it out ! ☼☼☼

    1. Like you I’m very happy to have « met » other bloggers and for all the new connections and contacts that blogging allows. It is indeed deeply satisfying to learn from others (and sometimes be the one others learn from). And I learn to improve my writing and my pictures thanks to the blog.

      Now, I have to fine the right balance.
      Thanks for your support too.

      Enjoy writing!

  11. Write, and take images first and foremost for yourself. Mine are my future nostalgias. If others enjoy your creativity, it’s a bonus. 🙂

  12. Oh, Juls. I think sometimes this blogging thing takes its toll on us. I’ve gotten a little resentful on my last couple of trips, not in taking photos, but in thinking I have to put a post together, when there is really too much other stuff going on in my life. Right now, I have not even downloaded photos from my camera from my trip into San Francisco last weekend. I used to come home from a trip and the first thing I did was get those photos up on the computer. We just need to take breaks from blogging at times. I’ve also realized that the photos I take and post are for me, and if someone else likes them, fine, and if not that’s ok too.

    1. Thank you for your support, Angeline. Like another friend told me today, maybe I should be a bit more selfish when it comes to taking pictures, liking them, showing them and writing about the trip. Write just because I want to and show the picture just because I want to, as it was in the beginning.

      We travel first for ourselves and for the happiness it brings to be on the road, discovering. Nothing should take that happiness away from us. and if writing does, maybe we should let go (for a while, at least, until the good feeling comes back)

      It’s just… I’m not selfish in general and I LOVE buying presents or writing to the people I love…

      Still thinking it all through. Thank you again for your oh-so-kind words.

  13. Continue à écrire Julie! Même si nous ne répondons pas souvent le lien que tu créé et important pour tes proches! Écrit peut être moins ; prend le temps de te retourner mais ne t’arrête pas!

Parlons-en!

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